League of BOB Challenge #2: Regrets

I think part of human guilt is that you end up regretting things. I know that I do it all the time--whether or not it's warranted. Regrets are closely tied to guilt (obviously), which lets you know that you've done--or at least think you have done--something wrong.

And I think regrets are actually good for something. Sometimes. If you heed them. And you manage to pick out the right ones to learn from.

But at the same time DWELLING on things you regret  for too long is detrimental. And can make you live in the past--one of the most unhealthy things to do to a body.

And, I'll be honest, I don't really regret too many things in my life. All my regrets are pretty menial, and along the lines of "Oh, I wish I hadn't said X to person Y at this party" or "Man I wish I had studied more for that darn test", things you get over pretty quickly.

Probably the only regrets of any "weight" have to do with relationships--and those are pretty insignificant too. But they illustrate for me how I shouldn't dwell in the past; because sometimes I'll just play scenes over and over in my head--what could have happened, what I should have said, if I was able to feel emotions deeper (a problem of mine) or at least express the ones I have better what would he have felt, would everything have been different? Or sometimes more along the lines of--I should have read this warning sign, this was obviously foreshadowing of future behavior--either way, it's the same thing.

Because those chapters of my life are over. There is no re-writing pages in your biography, they're already there. So let those experiences shape you in to the character you are now and who you'll become--because a story about a static character is none too interesting.

And since I've lived the perfect life (really), I feel sort of stupid writing about this. Because I've met and am close to people who have deep seated regrets that are more legitimate than mine--people who have watched people die, people who've gotten over drug addictions, people who solely blame themselves for the death of another person, among other things--I feel frivolous just spurtting off my nonsense. Because it would be hard to just forget those things and NOT dwell in the past.

So take it as you will.

League of BOB Challenge #1: The Halloween Spirit

This really isn't a good topic for me, as I think I LACK Halloween Spirit...So I'll relate it to something I do have. Partying spirit.

I'm a big fan of throwing parties at my dinky basement apartment, and have always wanted to have a themed one. So far no luck though. The only theme we've had is "Rad and Lauren not Voming". We stuck to this. For the most part anyhow. Lauren did a good job of not voming. (I guess you can say ). But I think there were a few too many hip people for it to be totally rad. Like the hip jazz guitarist Zach in his hip cardigan who passed out on my living room floor (hip-ly).

ANYWAY, Halloween allows for a costume party. Which is a theme!

I am concerned about how many people will just hear "PARTY" and "Carmen's", and think "Hey that girl who always has PBR, doesn't require pitch, and cooks things despite her roommates protests!" and will ignore the fact whoever invited them said the word costume in there too.

So this ties into the lack of Halloween spirit--people letting alcoholic beverages get in the way of dressing up in nice outfits. Because come ON, you get to be someone else for a day, but I know this town and it's inhabitants (or at least the ones I associate with).

I'd like to say costumes are fun. Several of my friends and I have had a grand time piecing them together at thrift shops.And we're going to a pumpkin patch this weekend for sure.

As for decorations we have spiders and webs enough anyway.

I hope I'm not disappointed. Maybe I'm being too cynical. But I know one thing. Whoever comes not dressed up can have their PBR, but they cannot have our hot chocolate and Kahlua or alcoholic cider.

(Excuse the lame blog post...and have a good day! Get some spirit!)

Something I've Decided to do.

I've always been bothered by what a consumer I am. I complain and whine about it, and have annoying inner dialogue over the problem, but I've never really done anything about it. And what did complaining ever get anyone? Except exasperated friends?

One of the main things that will gnaw at me is my closet full of clothing. No matter how often I try to give clothing away, I always make up a reason to keep it. Even if I do give some away, I still have so many. And I just go and accumulate MORE. I love shopping and making purchases, but sometimes when I'm in a really hippie-ish mood I'll just stare at my closet and be disgusted.

SO, I was sitting thinking today, and decided until September 16, 2011, I will not buy any NEW clothing. Thrift shops and places like Plato's closet are OK, but no Target, Wal-Mart, Urban Outfitters, WHATEVER. One year without buying any new clothes.

Of course to every rule there is an exception--if I need any new underwear/bras/socks I will buy these new. But I think I'll try to get them from local places, or at least not made in China or anything. I'll try to buy stuff that's American made, or maybe made from sustainable materials.

Honestly, this isn't really that big of a deal. Last week I went to Goodwill and got 2 new shirts--one for $2.50 that was from Hollister, and one for $4 from Charlotte Russe. The only thing I'm picky about really is jeans, because it's hard to find a good pair at a thrift shop, but I think I can probably deal with that by going to Plato's Closet. (Though I want to do that as little as possible, because the stuff there can be pricey!).

I'll keep a vague update of this venture, but I don't think it will really be too big of a deal--it'll just be something I'll do.

Anyone want to join?

A First blog post.

Well I have nothing to say right now, but I want to post SOMETHING, since I made this page. So I'm going to take a page from Shannon's book and make a list.


Malyssa always rolls her eyes when I say I'm pretentious. Here's a list of reasons why you SHOULDN'T roll your eyes.

~ I don't drink my coffee black, but I always say I really like coffee.
~The record player in my living room.
~The guitar I can't play in my closet.
~The books in my room.
~The fact TS Elliot poems run through my head and I ascribe significance to this.
~The fact I turn my nose up at people a little who listen to music I think is bad. What sort of say do I have in Taste?
~Same as above, but with books.
~Same as above the above, but with food. And I don't mean meet (for those who know me, I'm a vegetarian of 4 years) I mean people who think Olive garden bread sticks are high quality, and Costa Vida, Chipoltle, or Qdoba are fine Mexican establishments (though I like both, I just think they aren't really the pinnacle of fine dining).
~The fact that I paint, but am not really good at it.
~Same as above, but with writing.
~That I think so much about my appearance. Not my looks, per say, but what people think of me. If they think I'm cool, or a slut, or "adorable", or a nobody.

And more I'm sure. But that will suffice for now.

As side note, Curried Red Lentil soup is really good. (WHAT A POSEUR!)

-Carmen